"It was the HOUSE." And Norm was there too.

*This instalment was written as I watched the movie, not after the fact. Let's see how it goes!

When Roger's aunt (pronounced 'ont') dies in a massive and unnecessary house, alone, he inherits the HOUSE. This is PERFECT for Roger because he's an author and requires total solitude to write.

Yay for dead aunts!

** spoiler alert ** she hangs herself. Just couldn't wait for the cold clutches of a natural death even though she was like a billion years old. Not so Yay!

Anyways, Roger is an x-soldier who served in Vietnam, returned, and wrote a successful novel. His second book is going to be about his accounts of the war but he despite the frequent flashbacks he never gets any writing done... damn stupid ghosts - or zombies - or whatever.

This isn't the first time he's stayed at (the) HOUSE and he used to be married to a very successful actress. Way to go Roger! Oh wait... he got divorced after he lost his son in a pool and the body was never found. Yikes. Should have called this movie POOL. Gold.

By the way, with regards to the Norm in the title, I'm referring to this man:

George Wendt

George is the neighbour to (the) HOUSE and is just too well known to be in a movie like this. Quite frankly, it's distracting. Although, not remotely as distracting as the soundtrack to this bizarre and zigzagged plot. I have no words to describe it except for cragslippy... and I'm 94% sure I just made that word up. Okay, 95%.

At times the plot has glimmers of a thought. An example being the problems a war veteran faces once he comes home. But then the weird ghost/troll/woman shows up and you remember just what you signed up to watch. HOUSE!

Cue the low-budget Vietnam flashbacks again! Nailed it.

PLOT DEVELOPMENT! Sort of... in a flashback he is unable to kill his jerk-hole friend before that friend is taken by Charlie (army lingo = cool) and tortured to death. This is the reason his old squad member has been haunting the house and made the aunt commit suicide and took Roger's son and... wait. What?! This ghost of an old fallen comrade planned an elaborate "long-con" haunting?
A Long-Haunt? Really? If I were a ghost/zombie/soldier, I think I'd be more into the immediate retribution but that's just me, I suppose.
Sure, take his son or whatever but he just kept him in a cage in another dimension or something.
The son is retrieved and the bad guy is thrown off a cliff which is a part of (the) HOUSE. Following?

He comes right back and grabs the kid again. Psych!

If you feel at all confused by this post you're still better off than me... it's 2:15 am and I don't even know how I'm going to proofread this other than 'not-at-all.'

My favourite scene (or shot), by far, is the very end. It involves a hand grenade, a silly obvious realization, Roger, his son - who lives, his ex-wife, a station wagon taxicab, and a million dollar smile/pose. Squeaky. Just really squeak. Roll credits.

If you plan on watching this entire movie, plan on a high level of confusion and at times thinking, 

"Hmm, maybe this movie won't be as bad as I thought."     

But rest assured IT IS. On second thought, just don't watch it. (Watch the last 2 minutes)

You know what? GO FOR IT. 

Just make sure you don't accidentally get sucked into a series about a doctor guy with a cane and a bunch of diseases and a fake american accent. Or maybe he doesn't have diseases or its all in his head or he is just really lucky ar he IS really smart or whatever, who cares? Night!

And lastly, if a friend ever asks you to kill them during a war in Vietnam before the enemy can get them because they really cant do it themselves (?), be a good friend and DO IT. Jerk.